If you haven't read the post below- you might want to read that first.
Now that I have had a few hours to calm down, I feel I have to share a few thoughts....
*Yes, I have to play the waiting game. But it's a game that people everywhere have to play for various reasons at one point or another in their lives. I am not alone and it's not going to last forever. I will have surgery eventually. It may be this week- it may be next week- it may be 2 weeks, but it will happen at some point.
*A major part of my meltdown is because I am a planner. I usually have most of my Christmas shopping done by now. I am usually in full swing with preschool, PTA, and every other thing that I have going on in my "normal" life. So it is killing me that I can't plan beyond today. But my sweet mother-in-law (who is a breast cancer survivor for over 15 years now) stopped by tonight and left some words of wisdom. She said to just wake up every day and think, "Ok- normally I would be doing preschool or PTA or whatever, but I'm not and that's ok. Now what fun thing am I going to fill that time with?"
*With every meltdown I have there comes a clarity of thought. After the storm there comes a rainbow. My rainbow for now is-
I know that this too shall pass. I am not alone in my anguish and anxiety. I just need to keep a tight grip on that Iron Rod and inch by inch I will make it out of Rock Bottom.
Yes- I just moved ahead one point!
Desirae- 3 Cancer- 2
Oh Desirae, you have every right to feel upset, frustrated, nervous, anxious... you name it. We were given these emotions and all have times to experience them. It is so great that you know who to turn to when you feel this way. Our Savior has felt and experienced them, too, and is mindful of you. I am so inspired by you every time I read your blog. Know that lots of thoughts and prayers are being expressed for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteI love ya Des! I am so sorry you were having a bad day and a bad moment. It will pass and soon you will be back to getting on with normal life!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that you are having to go through this. I'm glad that you have Mom. We're all here for you and love you, but I'm sure it means a lot to have some who knows exactly what you are going through. I hope today is a better day.
ReplyDeleteHang in there! We are thinking of you!!
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