To Do or Not To Do

In my previous post, I shared with you the details of the wonderful, relaxing weekend I was able to participate in.

The mountains,

the sisterhood,

the yoga,

the facials,

the food.

Everything came together.  The stars all aligned and it was the perfect weekend to melt away any stress and anxiety.

Then, Monday happened.

I had resolved that I was not going to let stress get the best of me any more.

I was determined to begin each day with yoga, so that I could center myself and start the day with a peaceful aura.  

I arose bright and early at 5:30 am.

The house was quiet.

The sky was still dark.

It was just me, my computer, and a really great yoga video on YouTube.

"I can really do this!" I thought to myself.

Josh and Emma woke up and got ready for school and ice skating.

We drove to the high school and the rink.

I drove home.

The other two were not awake yet.

"I'll just let them sleep in a bit today.  There's no rush to wake up.  It will give me a chance to catch up on some bills."

I got engrossed in finances for an hour and a half.

The other girls woke up and I got them breakfast.

Time to retrieve Emma from the rink.

Return from the rink and get started on school work.

"This is really nice."

We started with a little study of the Doctrine and Covenants and then the girls delved into their school studies.

Computers humming- girls brains expanding.

Clock ticks on.

I roam around trying to pick up a few things while being available for the girls if they need help.

It is here that I start having a little bit of a problem.

It seemed as though every room that I walked into had a bright neon sign over everything that was out of place.

"Look at me!  I shouldn't be here!  I belong somewhere else, but no one seems to care."

Feeling the stress level rise.

How can I possibly straighten all of these things up and help the girls at the same time?

Not possible.

Okay.  Relax.  Not a big deal.  It will get cleaned up eventually.

More time passes.

Lunch and break time.

I leave for a bit to take a friend to her doctor's appointment.

Try to focus on spiritual matters while waiting for friend.

Failure.

All I can focus on is the stuff that is out of place, the school work that the girls need to finish, and the other things calling me from my to-do list.

Come home.

Help girls finish up school work.

Pick up Josh from school.

Try to think of something to fix for dinner, but it has to be quick because Emma's volleyball starts tonight and I am coaching....again.  (Wait, wasn't I supposed to be better at saying no?)

Hold the phone- and the dinner planning.  I have preschool tomorrow and I have some prep work to do.

Get preschool prep work done.

Have 30 minutes to make dinner, eat it and get to the Junior High for volleyball.

Peaceful aura gone.

Stress headache, hot flashes, and grumpy aura back.

By the time my knees hit the floor at the end of the night, I was done.

Ready to throw in the towel.

Feeling hugely overwhelmed and frustrated because instead of my to-do list shrinking, all I could do was keep adding things to it in my mind.

Tears started flowing.

Begging my Heavenly Father to let me know if I was doing anything right.

Am I truly doing my best?

Can I be doing more?

Should I be doing less?

I slathered myself with every essential oil known for stress and anxiety relief and put myself to bed.

Tuesday morning I woke up not quite as early and I skipped yoga.

Still finding myself in a bit of a funk.

Turned on the computer and had the thought to check out the LDS.org page.

BAM!

That's when it hit me.

The answer to my prayer from the night before.

I started crying from the moment I saw her to-do list until the black screen flashed at the end.

The words at the end of the video from President Gordon B. Hinckley pierced my heart.

Even with all of the reminders I have had in my life, I got caught up in my to-do list, instead of my Heavenly Father's.

I was on the right track, I just needed some minor adjustments.

I am still going to have stressful moments every single day.

It's part of my personality and the time in my life.

I can't change it, but I can learn how to manage it better.

That's where my Heavenly Father comes in.

As long as I put Him in charge of my to-do list, I will be okay.

Click here to go to the talk by President Hinckley, To the Women of the Church. I have listened to it twice since Tuesday.  It...is...amazing.