8-19-14

August 19th means a lot of things for a lot of people.

Some people are celebrating a wedding anniversary (Happy Anniversary Lori and Hal!)

Others are celebrating a birthday (Happy Birthday cute Jayna!)

Maybe you're welcoming home your amazing daughter after she has completed an LDS mission 

(Yay Sister Schafer!  So proud of you!)

I am sure there are many other people in this world who have many other reasons to celebrate- or mourn today.

I feel like I will be doing both.

Today I will be celebrating the fact that for three years, cancer has been in my life and I am still here.

I am surviving and sometimes, I am thriving.

Cancer is different for everyone that has to put on that awful jersey.

Some people love to talk about their experiences, some do not.

Some like to use the term "Survivor", others do not.

Some have a quick journey with it and others struggle with it's debilitating shadow for years.

Some don't make it.

My heart goes out to all of those people and families that have had cancer touch their lives in one form or another.  It is an awful experience and I wish that no one had to go through it.

Any time I celebrate my life and survivorship, there is always a little black cloud that hovers above that celebration.

A black cloud that reminds me of those who are still fighting and those who have lost the battle.

I don't know why some of us make it to the other side of the mountain and some do not.

I don't know why some are taken from this earth in the prime of their life and others of us are allowed to linger.

I feel like it is something that we just can't understand at this stage in our lives.  Some day we will know the reasons why- or maybe we won't, but ultimately it doesn't matter if we do or if we don't.

What matters is this....

How are you living today?

What are you doing with the time on this earth that you have been blessed with?

I think sometimes we worry too much about the why.  Why her?  Why him?  Why now?

When what we really should worry about is what we are doing to help those family members and friends who are left behind.  

What are we doing to help those who are still fighting- no matter what disease they are struggling with?
What are we doing to spread joy and beauty in this sometimes dark and dreary world?

I mentioned that I will also be mourning today.

Maybe you thought that I would be mourning my "pre-cancer" life.  The one where I didn't have so many scars, physically and mentally.

In all honesty, when I started writing this post, I thought that is what I would be mourning.

However, in the ten minutes or so that it took me to write about celebrating, I realized that I am not mourning that life.

I still have that life that I had before.

I am still me.  

I still am surrounded by my beautiful family.

I still have amazing friends and have actually made even more amazing friends because I had cancer.

No.  Today when I mourn, I will be mourning for those who are still fighting.

I will be mourning for those little munchkins who are without a father or mother.

I will be mourning for those who are missing a spouse, parent, or child so deeply that it physically hurts.

I will be mourning for those who will be receiving the news today that their fears have been realized and who will begin their own journey with cancer.

8-19-14

A day of celebration.

A day to reflect.

A day to mourn.

A day to love.

We can find love and happiness every day.

So whether today finds you in the joy of celebration or the pains of grief, you are here, and today is a day to cherish.

What are you going to do with today?