Reunited and It Feels So Good

If you don't know how much my little kayaking adventure last August changed my life, then you probably don't read much of my blog...or talk to me much...or really know me at all.

I talk about my FD (First Descents) family all the time.

These people are my second family.

Up until last weekend, we had only spent a week of our lives together, but during that week we forged an amazing and unbreakable bond.  

Back in November, we decided to band together as a group to raise some money for this great organization so that other young adult cancer survivors can have a life-changing experience.  It costs about $1000 for each First Descents participant.  As a participant, you do not pay a single dime.  All of the expenses are paid by generous contributors and fundraisers.  We knew that we had to make sure that we paid it forward after such an incredible weekend.

So what better way to band together then to complete a Tough Mudder race?

Haven't heard about a Tough Mudder?

Well, let me fill you in.

It is a 10-12 mile course filled with lots of dirt, mud, and obstacles.

They claim it's the toughest race on the planet, and I agree.

I signed up before I really knew what I was getting myself in to.  Then I made the mistake of watching some of the videos on the Tough Mudder site....and I knew that I had just paid $100 to be tortured.

How about a little Kiss of Mud?

What they don't tell you in the video is that the participants who do this obstacle before you have their number bibs and safety pins ripped off the front of their shirts and shorts because the mud is so thick, so you get to crawl through the mud being stabbed by all of those loose safety pins.  It's a great time for everyone!

War wounds from the Kiss of Mud and other obstacles

Too easy?  How about Walking the Plank?

This one was my favorite.

Or maybe walking through the Mud Mile, or Climbing the Blades of Glory or scaling the Berlin Walls?

There were a few that I skipped.  It was just not worth it to me.

The Arctic Enema?

Yep...totally skipped that one.  Considering the facts that I hate being cold and it was only 62 degrees on race day, I thought it was in my best interest to not wade through a dumpster full of ice water and submerge myself so that I could go under a plank to get out of the dumpster.  I have so much respect for my teammates that did endure it though.  Way to go guys.  You are my heroes.

Or how about the very last obstacle?

Electroshock Therapy

Ya...I totally skipped that one too.
My new friend, Meagan, put it perfectly.
"Today is not the day that I want to find out that I have a heart condition."
Again, I loved cheering my teammates on who chose to do it, and after the race we spent many hours enjoying the video of Camo doing a face plant in the mud and trying to crawl his way out.
It's good stuff.
(I will include a slide show of the race at the end of this post.  The video of David AKA Camo doing a face plant is near the end.)
What we didn't know until talking with him afterwards is that we are pretty sure when he was shocked, he was knocked out.  He was dis-oriented and didn't know where he was.  Funny in a disturbing way?  Totally.

 One thing I can say about the day was that we totally rocked the Tough Mudder.  We were all so pumped at the beginning of the race.  We ran the race in memory of our friend, Juice.  But he was there with us in spirit, and we also had a little piece of him because his brother, Nick, was able to join us for the weekend and the race.

What an absolute joy it was to have Nick around.  I dare say it was very healing for us and for him.  He lost his only blood brother, but gained at least 12 new adopted siblings.  I am happy to call him my brother and am so grateful that we still have a link to our wonderful brother, Brian.  We missed him terribly, but like I said...he was with us.  Nick in particular felt him near as he was in "beast mode" through the whole race.  He commented numerous times on the surge of energy he felt and being able to do things that he never imagined he would be able to do.  Yes, Juice was there.

We also ran the race for our dear friend, Tia, AKA H2O.  It was painfully ironic that she is the one who lives in Vegas, but could not be with us because she was in Houston receiving treatment.  My heart ached for her and she was constantly on our minds.  We added a little pink flair to our attire in honor of our dear friend.

If you would have asked me a year ago that I would be strong enough to complete a race like the Tough Mudder, I probably would have busted a gut laughing.
These pictures prove that not only did I make it through the race, but I killed it.
I have never felt stronger.
It was very healing for me, especially considering the fact that I had just had an emotional breakdown a few weeks earlier.

I am not completely free from the nightmares that haunt me, but I definitely am one gigantic step closer to that freedom.

I have been looking forward to this weekend since we planned it way back in November.  Not only because I was able to see these brothers and sisters again, but because I was able to introduce them to the Love of My Life.  We tried to make the most of every moment we had together and it was an amazing weekend.  I have to admit, going into it, I had a few moments of doubt.
"Would we be able to just pick up where we left off?
"Would it be awkward?"
"Was I just imagining this bond that was forged on the Snake River?"

I had no need to worry.
As soon as I stepped foot into the lovely house that we had rented, it was like we had never left each other.  There was hugging and laughing and reminiscing and more laughing.  It was awesome and I hated that it was over way too soon.

It was also a very healing weekend.  We were all in need of some group therapy to work through our sadness about Brian's passing.  Susan, AKA Turtle, brought this beautiful centerpiece to have in the kitchen and to serve as a memorial to Juice.
Every time I looked at it, I was reminded of the beauty that Brian brought to this world.
And as his FD family, we intend to continue where he left off.
To spread love, joy, laughter, and positivity.
It's what he would want us to do.

To my wonderful FD family...
I love you all so much.
I miss you more than words can say.
I can't wait until the next reunion and I am SO thankful for the technology that exists today that allows us to keep in touch during the long months apart.
You help me heal, you make me laugh, and I thank you for loving me and Mark.
You are amazing people.
XOXO

Here is the video that my wonderful hubby (and our Tough Mudder photographer) put together.
Thanks honey!  It is beautiful!

I am also including a link to my First Descents Fundraising Page.

If you feel so inclined, I would so appreciate any donation.

My goal is to raise $1000 so that I can send someone to have a life-changing experience.  Our group has already reached our group goal, but I have not reached my personal goal yet.  Thank you so much to everyone who has contributed.  I love you forever and always!!!

DESIRAE'S FIRST DESCENTS FUNDRAISING PAGE