After what has been, officially, the longest weekend of my life so far- I finally had some answers today.....but also more unanswered questions.
Went to meet with the surgeon- who is really, really great and wonderful and I love him already. He made me feel completely at ease even though my heart was pounding out of my chest. Unfortunately, Mark is out of town this week for work. Had the training planned and paid for and had to go. :( But, my wonderful and amazing mommy came up to be with me and was with me at my appointment today.
Let's just pause and give a shout out to our mommies...Hooray! It doesn't matter how old we get- we will always need our mommies.
Okay- so on to what I know now. My type of breast cancer is Lobular Carcinoma, which means that it originated in the milk producing lobes of my breast. Since there is no history of breast cancer in my family, I had to be tested to see if I carry a breast cancer gene. Apparently there are a lot of different genes out there that cause breast cancer- who knew? Not me.
So I swished some Scope around in my mouth and had to spit in a vial. I think it is safe to say that this will be the easiest part of this whole process. Off to the lab it goes and now we get to play the waiting game again- possibly for a whole week! Not what I wanted to hear, but I guess a week is better than a month.
Why is this testing so important you ask? I have basically two options here.
1- If it comes back positive that I have a breast cancer gene, then I have to say goodbye to "the girls". Both of them. Because if I have that gene, my chances of developing cancer in my other breast is pretty high. Also, when all is said and done I will have to have a hysterectomy as well because the breast cancer gene also causes ovarian cancer.
BOO to option number 1.
2- If it comes back negative and I don't carry the gene, my doctor would like to start with a lumpectomy where he will go in and remove the lump and some surrounding tissue. They will send that to the lab and see if the cancer has spread to any of that remaining tissue and to see what stage the cancer is at. With this option I still have the chance of losing that breast if he is not able to remove all of the lump because with lobular breast cancer, the tumors are sometimes tricky to remove. Also with this option, I will have to go through some radiation therapy.
Both options will include the removal of some lymph nodes for testing.
IF- there is cancer found in the lymph nodes, then chemotherapy or hormonal therapy may come into play.
So...now we wait.
Again.
The good news is, the MRI didn't show any other abnormal things going on. So that gives me hope that it is contained to the one spot and if we just yank that sucker out of there, we can be done with it.
So now my challenge will be to keep life as "normal" as possible for my family even though the only thing I want to do right now is curl up in a ball and cry and wait for this whole nightmare to be over.
But I won't do that- I can't do that.
That means that the cancer gets a point and I am not willing to let it win anything.
So for those of you keeping score
Desirae- 1 Cancer- 0
Thank you again for all of your prayers, thoughts, word of encouragement and love, and everything else. The power of prayer is amazing and I truly feel your prayers lifting me up. It's an incredible feeling.
Went to meet with the surgeon- who is really, really great and wonderful and I love him already. He made me feel completely at ease even though my heart was pounding out of my chest. Unfortunately, Mark is out of town this week for work. Had the training planned and paid for and had to go. :( But, my wonderful and amazing mommy came up to be with me and was with me at my appointment today.
Let's just pause and give a shout out to our mommies...Hooray! It doesn't matter how old we get- we will always need our mommies.
Okay- so on to what I know now. My type of breast cancer is Lobular Carcinoma, which means that it originated in the milk producing lobes of my breast. Since there is no history of breast cancer in my family, I had to be tested to see if I carry a breast cancer gene. Apparently there are a lot of different genes out there that cause breast cancer- who knew? Not me.
So I swished some Scope around in my mouth and had to spit in a vial. I think it is safe to say that this will be the easiest part of this whole process. Off to the lab it goes and now we get to play the waiting game again- possibly for a whole week! Not what I wanted to hear, but I guess a week is better than a month.
Why is this testing so important you ask? I have basically two options here.
1- If it comes back positive that I have a breast cancer gene, then I have to say goodbye to "the girls". Both of them. Because if I have that gene, my chances of developing cancer in my other breast is pretty high. Also, when all is said and done I will have to have a hysterectomy as well because the breast cancer gene also causes ovarian cancer.
BOO to option number 1.
2- If it comes back negative and I don't carry the gene, my doctor would like to start with a lumpectomy where he will go in and remove the lump and some surrounding tissue. They will send that to the lab and see if the cancer has spread to any of that remaining tissue and to see what stage the cancer is at. With this option I still have the chance of losing that breast if he is not able to remove all of the lump because with lobular breast cancer, the tumors are sometimes tricky to remove. Also with this option, I will have to go through some radiation therapy.
Both options will include the removal of some lymph nodes for testing.
IF- there is cancer found in the lymph nodes, then chemotherapy or hormonal therapy may come into play.
So...now we wait.
Again.
The good news is, the MRI didn't show any other abnormal things going on. So that gives me hope that it is contained to the one spot and if we just yank that sucker out of there, we can be done with it.
So now my challenge will be to keep life as "normal" as possible for my family even though the only thing I want to do right now is curl up in a ball and cry and wait for this whole nightmare to be over.
But I won't do that- I can't do that.
That means that the cancer gets a point and I am not willing to let it win anything.
So for those of you keeping score
Desirae- 1 Cancer- 0
Thank you again for all of your prayers, thoughts, word of encouragement and love, and everything else. The power of prayer is amazing and I truly feel your prayers lifting me up. It's an incredible feeling.
I know it's unavoidable, but all the waiting just seems plain old mean! I'm hoping the swish test comes back negative and they can just get rid of that little sucker.
ReplyDeleteHey I am sorry to hear all of this but definately keep up the great attitude and let us know if we can do anything at all! We would love to babysit, pick the kids up from school, whatever you need!
ReplyDeleteLove your attitude! It sounds like you have your "game face one" as Abbie would say :) I listened to the song you posted about on Facebook. I think you'd have to be a robot to get through that one with out crying. You are so loved and we're all here to be strong with you.
ReplyDeleteLove you Des! I am praying for good news!
ReplyDeleteOK. One step down, more to go-- but with so many fighting with you. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story Des. You are an incredible person! What a great example you are! Keep your chin up. You do have a great mommy who is always there for you! You are surrounded by people you will drop everything to do anything for you! Love you and pray for you every day! :)
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and I will pray that you don't have to do option #1! :( If there's one thing I know about breast cancer survivors, its that they are FIGHTERS! You are so awesome and an inspiration.
ReplyDeleteDes, now "I has a sad too!" How great it was to sit by you in the temple two weeks ago and feel your strong spirit then...it's even stronger now! Thanks for being so open that we can all give you support and learn from your strength. XOXO's to you!
ReplyDeleteStuff like this is supposed to happen to other people!
ReplyDeleteI hope you can find all the answers you need so you can find some peace in all the decisions you have to make. Keep looking forward!
Consider the whole midwest praying for you!!!
You are in our prayers, Des. Fight and keep on smiling that beautiful smile of yours!
ReplyDelete