Off the Grid

I have had the privilege of wearing many different hats throughout my life.

Mother

Wife

Volunteer

Breast Cancer Survivor

Friend

Sister

Daughter

Granddaughter

The last one is the one I would like to focus this post on.

I am the granddaughter of 4 amazing grandparents.

I lost my first grandparent almost 4 years ago and it was painful.  I still miss my Grandpa Holt with all my heart.    I would give anything for him to give me a knuckle sandwich again.

Now I am facing the painful reality of losing another grandpa and my heart is completely broken.

I am the oldest grandchild of my Grandma and Grandpa Fowlks.

I have spent a lot of time with these wonderful people over the last 35 years.

I have a lot of amazing memories and feel so lucky that I have had the opportunity to live with them not once, not twice, but 3 times in my life.  

I moved in with them after I graduated high school.  I met Mark while living at their house.  They saw me twitterpated and completely head over heels in love with the love of my life.

Mark and I moved into an apartment in their ward after we got married.  

After living there for about a year, they were kind enough to let us move in with them so that we could save money to build our townhome.  

I became a mom while living with them and my son gave them the title of "Grandma and Grandpa Great".

Fast forward a few years and they were kind enough again to let us stay with them while we were building our current home.  At that point, we had 3 little munchkins.  My grandpa has often said that one of his favorite memories of that time is little Abbie sitting on his lap in the mornings, sharing his breakfast.

As I am writing this, I realized that 2 of the best days of my life happened while living with them.

The day I became a wife and the day that I became a mother.

They have always been a big part of my life.

Today I was able to be with them as we met with his doctor to determine the options for him.

Sitting there listening to some of the same words I heard almost 2 years ago, opened a floodgate of memories for me and made my heart ache for him.

After listening to all of the options, my grandpa decided to take the one that is going to give us the most time with him and hopefully keep him as comfortable as possible.  So today, he started chemotherapy.  It is not a very aggressive chemo.  We are just hoping that it will slow the leukemia down enough for him to see all of his family and friends and have some beautiful moments with them.

This brings me to the title of my post...Off the Grid.

I am now going "off the grid" so to speak.

My focus for the next little while will be my family, my faith and my grandpa and grandma.

It is going to take every ounce of concentration and energy I have to finish out preschool and get my kids through the school year because honestly the only thing I want to do is be with my grandpa.

So please forgive me if I seem a bit distant or not quite myself.

I am going to be "grandpa's girl" for a little while.