Life is full of ups and downs.
I already did a post about feeling like I am on the roller coaster ride of a lifetime.
And that ride continues.
Have had a good day today- much better than my last Monday after treatment. It's hard to pinpoint exactly how I feel. The best word to describe it is just YUCKY. I just feel yucky. No energy, but tired of just being tired.
Yesterday was an interesting day. It was the first day I actually had to go somewhere in public with just a scarf on my little, round, bald head.
It was a hard morning.
I did say that I would be saving time by not having to do my hair, right?
Wrong.
Until I get the hang of tying a scarf, it's going to take me just as long to get ready.
Nothing looked right.
I felt like a gypsy.
I tried scarf after scarf with dress after dress with hat after hat and nothing made me feel happy. So what did I do? I finally lost it and the tears started flowing.
This was at 8:45. Church starts at 9:00.
So I said a quick prayer and just tied a darn scarf on my head with a bun in the back. I also had my cute husband following me around, wondering what he could say or do to make me feel better. I know he hated that I was feeling so down and wished there was something he could do. So he got everyone in the car, including the 25 lb. bag of crayons, books, and treats to occupy the munchkins during Sacrament meeting and away we went.
With smiles on our faces.
We made it to church on time- I was able to make it through teaching my Sharing Time Lesson and through taking the Sacrament, then I had Mark take me home. The nausea had kicked in and there is no way that I want to be even close to throwing up in the middle of sacrament meeting. That would be embarrassing.
But I made it. I felt weird and different, but everyone was so sweet. The kids in primary didn't even bat an eye. We had talked about me not having any hair last week and they were totally cool with it.
I love being a member of this church.
I love having a support system of people who love me for who I am on the inside and not what I look like on the outside.
I love having a Savior who knows that I was feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable and helped me to be brave and overcome those feelings.
I can do this. I can do hard things- One Day at a Time.
I already did a post about feeling like I am on the roller coaster ride of a lifetime.
And that ride continues.
Have had a good day today- much better than my last Monday after treatment. It's hard to pinpoint exactly how I feel. The best word to describe it is just YUCKY. I just feel yucky. No energy, but tired of just being tired.
Yesterday was an interesting day. It was the first day I actually had to go somewhere in public with just a scarf on my little, round, bald head.
It was a hard morning.
I did say that I would be saving time by not having to do my hair, right?
Wrong.
Until I get the hang of tying a scarf, it's going to take me just as long to get ready.
Nothing looked right.
I felt like a gypsy.
I tried scarf after scarf with dress after dress with hat after hat and nothing made me feel happy. So what did I do? I finally lost it and the tears started flowing.
This was at 8:45. Church starts at 9:00.
So I said a quick prayer and just tied a darn scarf on my head with a bun in the back. I also had my cute husband following me around, wondering what he could say or do to make me feel better. I know he hated that I was feeling so down and wished there was something he could do. So he got everyone in the car, including the 25 lb. bag of crayons, books, and treats to occupy the munchkins during Sacrament meeting and away we went.
With smiles on our faces.
We made it to church on time- I was able to make it through teaching my Sharing Time Lesson and through taking the Sacrament, then I had Mark take me home. The nausea had kicked in and there is no way that I want to be even close to throwing up in the middle of sacrament meeting. That would be embarrassing.
But I made it. I felt weird and different, but everyone was so sweet. The kids in primary didn't even bat an eye. We had talked about me not having any hair last week and they were totally cool with it.
I love being a member of this church.
I love having a support system of people who love me for who I am on the inside and not what I look like on the outside.
I love having a Savior who knows that I was feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable and helped me to be brave and overcome those feelings.
I can do this. I can do hard things- One Day at a Time.
I am so sorry you had a rough day. You are so very loved! Des, you are allowed to feel all the things you are feeling. They are all things that are completely justified. I too am so glad that the Savior is there and he understands every single thing that we have to endure. You say that you can do hard things and you definitely are. Not only are you doing them, you are doing them with grace and love and faith. Hang in there friend. Hope to see you very soon!
ReplyDeleteI thought you looked beautiful! I was wondering if I could ever pull that off the way you did :)
ReplyDeleteand WE love having you in the ward to love through this.
ReplyDeleteBald is beautiful!! Especially on you!! love ya!!
ReplyDeleteYou continue to inspire me and many others with your faith. As I hear my kids pray for you every night I realize how much they LOVE you. You made such an impact on them in primary. Keep fighting and we'll keep praying.
ReplyDeleteYou are such an amazing person! Sending love and positive thoughts your way! :)
ReplyDeleteWish I could give you a hug, Des. You have a right to have some tears and sad times, but you did just what I try to teach my kids (and do myself), get up and do what is hard or scary, and smile. You are amazing! I am so sorry you have to go through this. Our prayers are with you and your family.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about your hard day! I was reading my scriptures and when I happened upon these verses I immediately thought of you :) D&C 58:2-5. You have been so strong and wise enough to turn to our Heavenly Father. I know that He is so proud of you for the way you've faced this tribulation and that He will continue to be with you for every moment that you need Him!!! No matter how small we may feel, He loves us so much and is always willing to let us feel of it. I love you and will continue to pray for you and your family. Hope to see you soon!
ReplyDeleteYou totally inspire me, make me want to a better, more spiritual person. I continue to keep you in my prayers. You will get through this :)
ReplyDeleteI was very impressed with your scarf tying skills! I think the bun in back is great! You pull it off with poise and grace and are an inspiration to me every time I see you, read your blog, or think of you!
ReplyDelete